A new book, Grief is a Mess, is a short illustrated book for those
- who don’t know much about grief even if they think they do; and those
- who are in the middle of learning more about it than they ever wanted to know.
The book is particularly valuable considering what I have gleaned from my clients after years of grief counseling. Allow me to explain.
WHEN I’M ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN
I am good at offering condolences when your 95 year old parent dies, but when a young parent, spouse, sibling or child dies, I often head for the sidelines—after I write a note of condolence, attend the service and drop off some food.
Why do I do this?
The truth: “I forget to remember you because I don’t know what to do with you!”
Actually I don’t forget or when I see you I wouldn’t hide behind a rack of clothes in Macy’s, move to another grocery aisle at Whole Foods, or pretend I don’t see you when in a crowd. “You have to understand, I just can’t say ‘I haven’t called or emailed because I don’t know what to do with you.’”